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Divorce: What To Do When You Make Mistakes
Emotions mean you will make mistakes in divorce. Learn why the key to success is your attitude.
Whether you are about to divorce, or you are knee deep in it, or trying on a new life after, emotions present like dust storms. You breathe them in, gag on them, cough them up and even lie down exhausted between storms.
Be prepared that in such a state you will make mistakes. Take a breath and remember the kindest, coach-like person you have encountered in life. That is who you need to be when you talk to yourself now. Mistakes are how we learn. You are a student of divorce and a student of learning to be a better human being. A student is someone who doesn't yet know
What mistakes have you already made? Perhaps your divorce blindsided you. Are you stuck thinking you should have seen it coming? That the mistake was not seeing and preparing back in time? Or maybe you listened to friends and followed bad advice. Maybe it is about the children. You told them too much or not enough. When it came to the settlement, did you give up too much just to get done with it? Did you push for too much and make the divorce take forever and cost too much?
I remember a woman who told her parents and siblings many terrible tales about her husband while they were married. Now, while she is co-parenting she feels she cannot just get on with it, because the family around her are still furious at him.
There will be regrets as you plow through the storm of this time in your life. Remember that a mistake is not a character flaw. It is only a mistake. The answer is to forgive yourself and then learn the next lesson.
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